Olivia Wilde’s latest directorial effort is more than just a smart, adult comedy, it grows into an honest, visceral dissection on the cost of marriage, losing your sense of self and challenges of commitment. A remake of Cesc Gay’s The People Upstairs, The Invite is insightful, challenging and entirely vulnerable about what the real stakes are in an adult relationship. The most confident Wilde has been behind the camera with a razor-sharp script, The Invite is easily the best film of the year.

Wrapping a confrontation on the labor of marriage and commitment in a comedy allows for The Invite to be a catharsis and act almost as a sigh of relief as you unravel these difficult, heavy emotions while laughing hysterically at Seth Rogen throwing out his back or the proposition reveal of the titular invite through Olivia Wilde’s expressions. The Invite is an absolute masterclass of tonal balance and Wilde as a director never once loses her footing on the reckoning that effortlessly washes over you by the final frame. It’s not dismissive to write this off as a provocative comedy about adult relationships, both marriage and relationships after a previous marriage, but The Invite is so much more, without ever feeling like it bites off more than it can chew. A remake of Cesc Gay’s The People Upstairs (which is an adaptation of Cesc Gay’s stage play), penned by Rashida Jones and Will McCormack, the film follows a married couple, Angela (Wilde) and Joe (Rogen) as they host the couple upstairs, Piña (Penélope Cruz) and Hawk (Edward Norton), for what seems like a casual dinner party. What follows is deeply insightful as their discussions are insightful, comical and full of both rage and sadness. The tension built through Wilde’s sharp direction and editing (Anthony Boys and Yorgos Mavropsaridis) is palpable, for something that could easily feel so stagey, it’s brimming with suspense despite the ‘reveals’ being domestic endeavors. The physical comedy isn’t just from Rogen, who is unbelievably excellent with career best work, but Wilde feels reminiscent of Lucille Ball at times with her expressions and reactions to all that unfolds around her. But his isn’t just a dinner party from hell, it’s a total domestic nightmare for all involved.

It’s easy to focus on twists and turns of Piña and Hawk’s relationships and the intentions of each couple, which all is brilliantly executed and truly need to be experienced with a crowd, The Invite is far smarter than just the average adult comedy (not that we even get that many of those). Wilde’s film is an overwhelming, visceral dissection on the cost of marriage and how losing yourself can almost cost you everything. The Invite opens on Angela and Joe going about their daily business separately, as most couples do. Joe is at work, zoned out and not paying any attention to his students, while Angela is running errands and cleaning preparing for the dinner party. Her routine feels she’s running on air and a high of the preparations, she’s not outwardly burdened by anything she’s doing. Whereas Joe has zero idea what’s going on at work and struggles with his bike, which as anyone can relate to when one thing feels it’s going wrong, the rest of the journey is a frustrating burden to get through. But for Joe, he goes from to work to his journey home boiling with anger. Every single thing upsets him from the bike to the train to any pedestrians in his way. By the time he makes it home, the last thing he wants is to be asked to take his shoes off or if he picked up the wine let alone have neighbors, he barely knows, over for dinner. There’s an emotional burden to being a stay-at-home or default parent that simmers throughout the film, starting with the opening credits. It’s easy to understand that Joe has been at work all day, he doesn’t want to entertain guests or make small talk. These aren’t even their friends, just their neighbors. His attitude slightly undermines Angela’s role in the life they share. She’s sorted the childcare for the night, cleaned their home, and prepared the food all while getting ready (and a new rug and shirt). It’s easy to say that’s nothing but it is something and your partner in life should see that, yet Joe refuses to engage with the idea of Angela having any responsibilities. The disparity Joe feels in their roles creates an unspoken resentment towards Angela that combined with another internal issue he has, it compacts and allows this tension in their relationship to simmer, a ticking time bomb.

The Invite works through all of its tonal shifts and provocative ideas because of its empathy and regard for relationships. Relationships, specifically marriages and dating after, take hard work from both parties. As the film goes on, the conversations had by both couples are challenging and exposing as they create a vulnerable environment for all. There’s an underlying theme for both couples throughout the film of the need develop an intimacy with oneself as a counterbalance to the couple. Having agency within a relationship allows not only for your own happiness but for the success of the relationship. The bickering can turn from easy-to-forgive to this simmering rage without having a confidence within. At one point, Piña asks Angela if she’d fuck herself and she’s unable to answer. It’s easy to say if you don’t love yourself, how can you love anyone else? But when you’re in a marriage, it’s hard to identify this self-hatred as it grows overtime. Joe at one point is arguing the lack of sex in their marriage stems from Angela not just simply having sex with him, “she’s supposed to want to and just do it.” The expectation of sex in a marriage is that it’s a given, but Angela, and many people in relationships, crave for the buildup, the yearning for passion from their partner. Everyone wants to feel desired and that is never just a given. Angela and Joe aren’t on the same page at all and not because they’re not attracted to one another but simply because she feels this lack of emotional connection and respect, which further exacerbates her sexual withdrawal from her husband. This idea of they love each other, they share a child and a home together, but can he desire her? This lack of emotional bond between Angela and Joe stems from that resentment Joe has towards Angela over ‘what does she even do all day,’ but combined with both of them having no sense of self, their relationship has been decaying. Intimacy grows overtime, routines built together and familiarity. Desire thrives on mystery and is energized by spontaneity. These work at odds with another and not only in a marriage is mystery hard to maintain but especially as parents. Schedules and routines become a need for the child’s stability and the household to survive. When Joe taunts Angela for needing to schedule in an orgy, it feels comical but to anyone who is a parent, especially a default one, it’s easy to clock that put down from the person who is supposed to be your partner. Yes, it’s not sexy, but that’s part of the downside of having a kid. You can’t simply just do things on a whim. It’s a quick moment, that is genuinely funny, but this is part of the emotional burden of being the default parent; you simply have to schedule the orgy.

The final act of the film sees Angela and Joe come to the agreement that’s been boiling throughout the film’s first chapters. After Angela and Joe are confronted by Piña over the dysfunctionality of their relationship, Angela speaks to her about how she met Joe, how they fell in love and used to have sex all the time, a tale as old as time. But Joe’s dream of being in a band didn’t work out, she turns to Joe and is still telling the story but almost asking… why can’t he just be happy? He has a job where he still gets to work with music, he has a home, he has a kid who worships him, why is he so miserable every day? Things don’t always work out, but he has a life many would kill for. Joe lashes out saying that Angela needs to just let him be miserable. He doesn’t really dispute anything she says and just becomes defensive, confrontational, asking Angela what she even does all day or how could she just give up her work? The gender dynamics at play here may be subtle to some but many women (especially those who are mothers or considered becoming a mother) will clock it. It’s presumed Angela became a stay-at-home mom and Joe returned to work, now their daughter is grown, so Joe isn’t wrong for asking what she does (but this is not the way to ask, it’s that unspoken resentment asking). But when you take years off to be a stay-at-home parent, especially for a woman, it’s so difficult to go back and enter the workforce where you left off. This isn’t verbalized in the film, but you can feel it through Wilde’s mannerisms and her expression, your partner shouldn’t be judging you for this decision years after the fact. Why is it that Angela had to make personal (and professional) sacrifices, but she isn’t walking around mad at the world or taking it out on their marriage? Joe gets to be so miserable at work, at home and in their marriage, but she’s wrong for living life to fit the shape of how they’ve built their life. The unspoken emotional burden of how hard it is to beg someone you love to find joy and passion in life is put on display here as Angela is struggling to breathe expressing this. There’s nothing more deflating than the person you chose to build a life with just refusing to engage with any joy in the world, where it feels like pulling teeth asking them what makes them happy or what they want to do. Finding a joy in the world is so crucial as a parent to give yourself an identity that isn’t ‘mom’ or ‘dad.’ It seems Angela is struggling with this, spending all this time on a renovation but she’s trying. Joe is failing, he’s checked out at work and home, yet there’s an undertone that Joe is even the preferred parent, which is a common attribute when someone is the stay-at-home parent, that they’re not the fun one, the non-default parent gets to be the fun one. The one without the schedule, without the rules. When Angela says Joe has a kid who worships him, it’s the language used to indicate this and imply that their daughter finds him fun, would do anything to spend time with him.

The Invite is brewing on this idea of intimacy one has with themselves and how it’s necessary for a successful marriage with a healthy sex life; that an independent and fulfilled life is necessary for and a major factor in maintaining desire in a long-term relationship. Hawk speaks about denying his previous wife’s desires and her sexuality and it led to him being more open with his own desires now. The conversation regarding the lack of sex in Angela and Joe’s marriage highlights a yearning Angela has for a sexual release that Joe thinks of as ‘a duty’ in a marriage rather than part of it. The nature of having an intimacy in day-to-day life that allows for vulnerable honesty but running errands and making schedules together feels daunting when wanting to keep that desire burning yet the ability to achieve having both aspects stems from your independence, your confidence with yourself, your honesty of your own desires, and appreciation for your own body are all necessary to be in a healthy relationship. It’s hard to notice in a marriage or long-term relationship if you’re slowly falling out of sorts with yourself. When Piña lays it out that this marriage is clearly over, they both just simply agree, no firework of a fight, no tears, no mess. What struck me the most with this confirmation of the dissolution of their relationship was where they each sought out comfort. Joe quickly is seated at his piano, something he avoided as a proof of loss of his dream of being a musician. He was regaining his sense of self, his true identity. Angela found herself sitting in their daughter’s bed, looking at the stenciled design she hinted as their daughter being too old for; this time capsule of the life she built together with Joe. This invite was initially about a risqué escape from the mundane but became a release of the state of complacency.

I walked away from this film feeling like The Invite was Wilde’s love letter to coming out of a relationship on the other side. Not in a ‘girlboss’ way but as a state of self-reflection. No one wants to fall in love, get married, start a family and build a life together, to leave it all behind and do it separately. The Invite felt to me like a declaration of what comes after that final scene, of falling in love with yourself and the idea of what life can be after finding yourself again.

Grade: A+

Oscar Prospects:
Likely: Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Supporting Actress (Penélope Cruz)
Should Be Considered: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Lead Actress (Olivia Wilde), Best Film Editing, Best Cinematography

Where to Watch: In Select Theaters