Family trips, at their core, are truly devastating at times. It’s hard to be surrounded in a shared space with others that have nothing in common with you, and yet, you are all born from an intertwining bloodline. As someone who grew up spending a lot of time with my cousins until we got older and they moved away, I often found myself wondering where the time went as the distance between us grew further. We were so close and as we went around the world living our separate lives, we never quite could reconnect. It’s that quiet reminder that carries all throughout Jesse Eisenberg’s A Real Pain, and sends the audience to embark on a journey of self-reflection and ultimately, how cathartic grief can be.

Within the first moments the audience is introduced to David (Jesse Eisenberg) and Benji (Kieran Culkin), we immediately can empathize with both characters as a result of Eisenberg’s script. David, who is more reserved and soft-spoken, often feels like the anchor in the duo’s journey. He’s the type of person who keeps to himself, yet has a lot of unspoken worry and uncertainty throughout the film. On the flip side of things, we have a character like Benji who despite speaking out about his feelings clearly has a sense of himself, and isn’t afraid to open up about his grief. The whole plot of A Real Pain revolves around two cousins who are so alike, and yet could be further different from one another as they mourn their grandmother. Eisenberg never makes Benji or David the end of any type of joke, but rather, shows how they’re both grappling with the encompassing grief that is driving them apart. 

In one of the film’s most explosive moments, we understand that there is a sense of envy and jealousy that David has towards Benji about being the brightest person in the room, yet Benji often reduces himself to being nothing when he’s always able to make an impact on people. We learn that David was the one who found Benji after an overdose and as they’re both trying to process their grief, we get the sense that they are also trying to process their relationship with one another. The dialogue throughout the dinner scene falls into the script like a puzzle piece, because at one point in our lives, we have all been a David. We’ve seen someone we love go through an incredibly difficult loss and struggle, and it haunts us to know that we are doing our best to try to help them. We’ve also been a Benji, the person who does self-depreciation and tries to stay afloat even though we can feel the grief choking inside of us. The dynamics between the two work so well, and it’s impossible to not empathize with them.

While A Real Pain talks about generational trauma and loss, it’s a story about a family dynamic that is slowly being rekindled. While David and Benji travel throughout Poland, we hope that even after the credits end, the two are able to become closer even after the loss of their grandmother. It’s ironic that their grandmother set aside money for them to travel to her home together, almost as if she knew that it would bring them back to how they once were when they were younger. It’s the love for one another, and the mourning that helps them in the long run. Even if it takes us people watching throughout the airport like how Benji does, we can’t help but sit and watch as A Real Pain takes flight and hopefully gets more recognition for its screenplay.

A Real Pain is currently streaming on Hulu.
You can find our review of the film here.