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You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah is an authentic look at being a (Jewish!!) middle school girl walking the line of being a girl and wanting to become a woman. A heartfelt film about friendship, coming-of-age drama, and family. 

Earlier this year, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret beautifully examined the awkward space in a young girl’s life when she yearns to be an adult but is very much still a child. You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah has a similar structure, but is a completely different take on that time in a girl’s life. The film really is a heartfelt look at the messiness and struggles of all kids on the precipice of becoming adults. From loving and hating the popular kids to growing into your self-assuredness to finding a balance between private and public life, You Are So Not Invited really touches on it all. 

You Are So Not Invited follows Sunny Sandler as Stacy, who dreams of an over-the-top bat mitzvah, alongside her lifelong bestie Lydia (Samantha Lorraine). The story takes a typical middle-school-drama turn when Lydia starts getting attention from the popular girls and ends up kissing Stacy’s crush, Andy (Dylan Hoffman), at a party. Stacy is justifiably shattered by the betrayal. Stacy uninvites Lydia to her bat mitzvah, blocks her number, and tries to begin planning her life without her longtime best friend. 

Something that really makes You Are So Not Invited stand out in a crowd of typical tween comedies is how authentic the film feels. Most of this is due to the entire Sandler family appearing but is only elevated due to how grounded in Jewish culture the film is.  You Are So Not Invited isn’t just using a bat mitzvah in the background or as the setting, the film utilizes what makes these events so special not just for the guest of honor, but the friends and family. The anguish of knowing you’re speaking Hebrew in front of the entire school is a specific nerve building moment in every young (American) Jewish teen’s life and Sandler’s performance really captures it. 

You Are So Not Invited works because it really understands that, when you’re 13 years old, the world really does feel like it could end if you’re not able to wear the expensive pink dress of your dreams to your bat mitzvah! The film heavily leans into hilarious one liners between family members expressing that sibling rivalry you can only understand from growing up with siblings. The banter between parents feels effortless, perhaps due to a great Uncut Gems reunion between Adam Sandler and Idina Menzel. 

Great coming-of-age films centered around young girls centered around friendships always hit a little harder because there’s no one more important to a young girl than her best friend.  You Are So Not Invited creates a beautiful, lived in friendship between Stacy and Lydia that all girls or women can connect with. From a truly epic soundtrack (what was the music budget on this?) to a cast you love spending time with, You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah is a party for the whole family. Here’s hoping Sunny Sandler gets a Netflix franchise following Stacy’s Jewish coming-of-age moments!  

Grade: B+

Oscars Prospects:
Likely: None
Should be Considered: None

Where to Watch: Netflix